Thursday, March 10, 2011

It's too late when we die ...

"I wasn't there that morning, when my father pass away, I didn't get to tell him, all the things I had to say.....I just wish I could have told him in the living years"

No matter whom....
father, mother, sister, friends, colleagues, neighbours, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.....
"It's too late when we die....."
quarrels, arguments, misunderstanding, anger, etc, in the end, those things don't matter....
Life's short, so forgive, move on and BE TRULY HAPPY !!

The Living Year by Mike and the Mechanics

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

If only I was aware .... today ...... all the time ....

If only I was aware today, I wouldn't have gotten so annoyed at everything
If only I was aware everyday, I'd be so much HAPPIER !!!

I get annoyed easily, as much as I try not to, I still get annoyed.
Sometime I only see things from my perspective & I want things done my way.
Although it's good to be efficient n effective, especially in the work place (or everywhere else), the world doesn't work that way.
People are different, they do things differently, the think differently, they have different problems in their lives.

So here's what happen today and how I reacted
(or how I react to every little annoying things most of the days of my life.....)

Story 1
I was at a pharmacy with Person A & he wanted to buy a cheap sunblock with whitening.
(fyi : "whitening" or "brightening" cream is very popular for self-conscious people who are naturally tanned)
When I told him the brand was unknown & a whitening properties on a sunblock might not be the best thing to put on your skin, he insisted on buying it. I got so irritated, I left the store.

I can't understand WHY o why on earth would you want to buy a cheap unknown brand sunblock with whitening ? Even writing this, his action irritates me still.
But If I were aware, I wouldn't have just left the store angrily, I wouldn't have disrespected him by labelling him as an idiot in my mind and think of him as inferior to me.
I should just realize that I gave him a SANE opinion (yes I know I'm right) by advising him to get a better product but I should know that the decision lies in his hands and that he's free to think for himself and he can take responsibility for his actions.
Other than that,
Other than thinking that he's an idiot, I should respect him because, fact is, he's someone dear in my life and who has done SO MUCH for me and he truly does deserve A LOT of respect from me.
So If I was aware of that thought & that fact, and if they came first in my head before I start dissing him off and got angry at him, I wouldn't have gotten so annoyed, instead I would just stay calm and things would've been great today :)

btw... I could always steal that cheap unknown brand sunblock, throw it out and get him a new and better one :) Yes I should respect his decision to buy that sunblock, but sorry man, if something might and could harm you, I should do something about it ;p
See.... it's a win win...... without being annoyed and ruining the day.

Story 2
I find Person B annoying, he sings crappy songs out loud, out of tune. Sometimes he sings like a crazy drunk lunatic and he doesn't drink at all.
Even worse,
His jokes are off.
His comments are annoying, which explains why he has no friends.
Sometimes he acts like a crazy dictator and expect you to "obey" his weird old fashioned "rules"
He complains on every little detail and is quite a clean freak but he's very lazy to do the cleaning himself.
He walks really slow, like a zombie who's really lazy.
Anyway.... I don't talk to him. I don't respect him. I don't like him.
So... everytime he sings crappy songs out loud, I don't like it, it annoys me BIG TIME.
Everytime he makes weird jokes, I would just roll my eyes.
Everytime I heard that he's acting all bossy, I hate him even more.
and I let all that negativity fill me up. I just let it, I'm not aware of his positive traits, of what he does everyday.
Yes he's a lousy singer who specializes in crappy songs, his sense of humor is none existence, and he can be very bossy and super duper annoying,
He is a very hardworking guy, He wakes up early, he spends a lot of time driving in unbelievable crazy hectic traffic and he has to deal with a quite a lot of annoying obnoxious people every day.
So when he got home tired & stressed out, I think he can whine a little and be bossy. (okay, maybe not so much, but it's understandable)
So he sings crappy songs out loud, maybe that's how he vents after a crazy tiring day, so let him.
Even though he complains about little things, he never actually points out someone else's past mistakes (okay he does that sometimes) and he never mentions this one HUGE FAVOR he did and gloat about it.
So, knowing all his positive points, the part where I say "I don't respect him. I don't like him" is way way too hard on him, it's just me being mean.
Because realizing all that positive points about him .... I DO respect him now !!
I don't have to pretend that I like his jokes or talk to him much, but I now think that he's a good guy and I feel so guilty and ashamed to have thought that I was better than him.
I think tomorrow when he sings his heart out, I'd just smile and wish it makes him happy :)
okay...I'll try.... hey man, for me it doesn't really happen overnight, I'm really curious what radio station he listens to that make him sings all those ridiculous songs and I still do get annoyed, but not as much, you see, I'm learning here, I'm accepting, I'm understanding, I'm letting it be and I realize now that he's actually quite alright :)
Baby steps, you see, there'll come a day when he sings all the crappy songs out loud n out of tune and I'm happy about it (or I'll learn to block the voices out or I'll have my mp3 player on) but for now, his singing doesn't bug me as much.
See... that's what happens when you're aware. You realize & admit your mistakes and you try to correct it and be a better person.

quote from Randy Pausch's Last Lecture
"Find the best in everybody. Just keep waiting no matter how long it takes. No one is all evil. Everybody has a good side, just keep waiting, it will come out"

Story 3
Don't you just hate it when there's a long line at the cashier and the girl scanning the barcode is working super slow and ignorant of everyone ????
Don't you just want to yell at her ??
What to do ?
Well, you can complain to the manager and hope she gets a warning
or you can stay quiet but cursing on the inside --> really bad for you.
or you can just calmly wait for your turn and stay in a "happy and grateful" / "aware" state of mind all the time.
Why ?
You don't know why she's working really slow.
You can ask her, she could tell you why or she could just lie.
Either way, you won't know "Why?" and it doesn't matter, really.
Maybe she's just plain annoying
or maybe she has so much in her mind, problems she can't solve, financially perhaps or a sickness in the family.
or she's angry at her minimum wage and lack of skill so she's stuck being a cashier all her life.
or maybe she's ill but she still has to come to work anyway.
maybe her boss just accused her of something she didn't do and she just got pissed that she had to take the blame.
You don't know and You probably will never know why.
(unless she's your employee, then she gets a "friendly" warning and maybe a little nudge in the motivation department, etc etc)
But hey.... it doesn't matter......
Don't let an extra 5 mins standing in line ruin your whole day !!

Just realize that other people have issues in their lives, so we need to stay aware that whatever happens to us and our surroundings, we need to stay in a "happy & grateful" state of mind and don't let the negativity brings us down and ruin our day, or worse ruin our lives.
Being aware, being happy and grateful all the time, doesn't mean you smile non-stop like an insane dude, it just means you're awake and you realize what you do and how you choose to let outside things affect you.
Being aware also mean being respectful and understanding to others. Like you have made mistakes in the past and you're now constantly trying to fix them and be a better person, and you try on daily basis, and maybe because you yourself is not always 24/7 "aware", you might still offend other people without realizing it. So other people, too, are probably on the same 'journey' as you are in.

Don't think you know everything, because you don't
Focus on the good of others
Remember baby steps
Be Aware and Be Happy :)

Sunday, February 20, 2011

No time to get angry.... No time

a quick one.
I know some ppl are super unbelievably annoying and unreasonable
and you can't accept that and you can't help to wonder why why WHY WHYYYY ???
and they make you frustrated and angry and annoyed
bla bla bla bla bla

if you stay awake and aware
You know that there are greater things to do
Greater problems to solve
Greater dreams to pursue
There are more important things in life other than letting their rude manners / offensive behaviour / negativity to affect you.
Now.... once you're aware and awake at all times, and you know those facts
You don't have much time to complain
You won't have any time at all to think about it

When you're busy pursuing your dreams
When you're busy doing what you love
When you're occupied helping others and doing BIG POSITIVE things in your life.
You are focused at your Goal
You won't have time to be offended or angry anymore.
They don't bother you anymore.
Even if it crosses your mind, you're definitely going to ignore it, automatically.
Why ?
There are more important things at your hands right now.
Those minor things won't matter

What matters are the POSITIVE things that you're doing or you're going to do.
IMPORTANT things that will get you somewhere, make you someone.
You are automatically focused on positive things in your life,
Your Life, Your Dreams, Your Goal, Your good deeds, Your Families ....

Now you see ? :)

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

We are the miracles

My sis just had a baby girl, and the first time I saw her, I knew I saw a miracle, that she is the perfect gift from heaven.
that she can be anything she wants to be, that everything is possible.

We were all once babies.
We were all the miracles brought into this world.
and Guess what ?
We are still the miracles.

I know some of you think that you're now a failure and it's too late for you to change.
Just remember this :
You were once the miracle and You still are the miracle !!!
No one can ever change that.

Once you realize that you still are the miracle,
You know what you must do now :)

"You are looking for miracles, that's the problem.
You are the miracle ! " - Rumi

We're all different, Accept it, Let them be

Story 1
I seriously don't understand people who watch cheesy soap opera. I think they're cr*p and a waste of time.
How can people get addicted to it ?

A family member who's smart & successful loves to watch cheesy soap operas. I'm annoyed everytime he turns up the volume and watches it (yes, it's a he)
I even think it's killing his brain cells and I'd grunt and roll my eyes everytime he's in front of the TV.

But then it hit me.
I watch TV Series.
I watch Supernatural, Grey's Anatomy, Glee, etc etc
I like them.
What if someone comes up to me and said "Why do you watch those cr*p ?"

After a busy day, it's pleasing to watch those TV Series, that's how I unwind.
And since people are different, they unwind differently too.
So....No more complaining... I'm gonna treat him with respect.
Apologies from me.
altho I still think watching cheesy soap opera is a waste of time, but hey.... Respect :)

actually watching TV is not always a good thing, but that's for another discussion ;p

Story 2
You know how some people are cheesy, loud, laugh at jokes that you think are NOT funny, dress really old fashioned and think they're cool, buy branded stuff only with gigantic logo so everyone could see that it's expensive, somewhat rude, etc etc
and You just can't stand them because they annoy you so much ?

Well.... Some people are like that, let them be, hopefully they'll evolve and grow out of it.

I remember when I was younger and I thought I wore the coolest T-shirt ever because it has a famous brand written in huge bold capital letters. yup that was me.
Looking back, I realize I liked that T-shirt because people will know that it was a famous and expensive brand.
Oh boy......

Some of my family member gets really loud when they get together in public places, it doesn't really bother me, but it may bother strangers sitting next to them.

Then someone else in my family likes to sing, like all the time, He sings cr*ppy songs loudly, out of tune. This one bothers me big time, all the time.
Like I wanna run up to him and stuff smelly socks in his mouth.
Yup.... still working on that one ;p

So, the point is ,
Let them be
There's nothing you can do
Why annoy yourself ?
Let them be and be free

Your wish came true, so what now ?

You're problem free now.
Your prayers have been answered.
Miracles happened.

Is it time to celebrate ?

Problem free, Debt free, doesn't mean that you're free to do whatever we want. To go on a shopping spree, To travel all around the world, To live the American dream (as advertised by the somewhat manipulative media)

Remember what you've learned from your experience.

You asked God for help
You prayed hard
You've never prayed more in your entire life.
It was a sense of urgency, you didn't know who else to ask, so you came to God, or maybe it was Him who pulled you closer.
You hoped for a miracle and it happened.

So what now ?
Some of use would pray less, finding excuses not to go to church.
Why ?
The sense of urgency is gone, The problem is gone.
So, right after you got your miracle, you pull yourself away from God ? because you're lazy ? because there are more fun things to do than praying or than going to church to say "Thank you God ?"
If an old friend lent you money, wouldn't you be so very very grateful to him and you'd be super duper nice to him whenever ? Why is it when it comes to God, you think it's okay to skip ? to postpone ? to stall ?
I know sometimes going to church is really really sleepy and boring, but let's be honest, sometimes it isn't, in fact, sometimes it makes you very peaceful, even if it is only for 5 seconds.
So why stop now ?
Do you want another huge problem to arise to remind you ?

We need to keep on praying.
It's talking to God, We need to stay close to Him, to feel a longing to be closer to Him, to be thankful/grateful, to be a better person, to be a better child of God, even in the littlest things we do in our daily life.
Simple things such as : Were we polite ? Did we say thank you ? Did we help someone out today ?
We need to be awake and stay aware in our lives so that we are living a worth life.
(A good book is "Awareness" by Anthony de Mello)
Remember that We still need to ask for His help for our future dreams and wishes to come true and we need his blessings to achieve all that.
So, No pressure whatsoever, Don't feel burdened that you have to pray or go to church. "Oh I'm so tired to pray" "Oh I didn't get enough sleep last night".
And don't feel like, "I'll pray some more until I got my second wish granted, then I can do whatever I want". That would be wrong.
Wanting to talk to God and be closer to Him should be a feeling of longing that comes from your heart. It should be a pure intention of gratitude.

We need to remind ourselves of what He has done for us and that is by being thankful and grateful, and that happens we we pray. Praying doesn't happen only when you're sitting down in church or alone in your bedroom, you can pray even when you're on a bus, when you're in a meeting, when you're having dinner with families, being grateful is also a form of prayer. That's why it's important that we stay aware at all times. To always be grateful , to be in control of our mind, to want to help others, to know our purpose in live.
If you wanna know more about awareness, I recommend the book "Awareness" by Anthony de Mello, it's not boring, I promise you.

Stay Humble
When you were "down" there and people treated you with disrespect. Let them.
Now you're back on top, forgive and stay humble.
I think by now, you know better that it's the right thing to do.

You know how some TV hosts or journalists say that the nicest people they've interviewed are successful hardcore Rock Stars and the most annoying obnoxious ones are newcomers with only 1 single that made it to the Top 10 list.

It's simple
- When people treat you with disrespect, you don't get angry and offended, you forgive and you move on.
- You don't treat others like dirt, You treat everyone with respect, equally.
In your darkest hours, You were given a taste of what it's like to be the underdog and be treated like one. People treat you badly, disrespectfully, rudely, NOT so that you can take revenge on them when you're back on top, NOT so that you can treat others disrespectfully once you gain your "power" back, but so that you learn from it.
and really, there's no "power" in status or money.

If you expect people to treat you like a king because of your money/status, then you've learnt nothing at all.
Don't expect a special treatment from anyone, Don't even expect anything, Just be a kind hearted humble person who treats others with respect. Period.

The more you have money means the more you should realize that money isn't everything. You should be aware of that, at all times.

Your promises
When you prayed in your troubled times, You must have made some promises.
"If a miracle happen, I'd give away a percentage of my income for charity."
"If my prayers came true, I'd go to church every Sunday"
"If I get my wish, I'd never tell a lie again."
Well, now that you've got your miracle, it's time to keep your promises, whatever it may be.
Even if you didn't make any promises, it's always a good idea to reach out to help others.
You can do it either way you prefer, if you want to start by helping people anonymously, start by doing so.
If you're an outgoing active person, you can be more hands-on.
It's now time to give back.
We actually have responsibility to listen to our conscience, to listen to God as our guide, to do good deeds.
But you do it because you want to, not because you think you have to, but because the heart wants to.
Either way, Helping people will make you feel really really good inside :)

Debts, Financial crisis, and Prayers

yup... when you have a Financial Crisis which leads to piles of Debts after Debts, Happiness seems to go right out the door.
Yes you have the rare occasional fun-filled outing with friends, Laughter with your kids, Going out to a Great Movie / dinner, Minor Shopping with credit card installments, etc etc, but deep down inside, You worry, You fear, You're not happy, almost all the time.

it's good that you're able to get out and find moments of happiness.... don't shut everyone out altogether, get out every once in a while, Have fun, you need it.

Keep your mind focused and clear and Start doing what you can, Do it now, Keep trying, Do your best.
Ask for help from friends and families if you must.
and Pray !
When you pray, Have Faith in God, Be Patient.

Here's my story :

Debts... yup
It's been 7 years now
Imagine living in debts for 7 years.
It's like being frozen in time for 7 years, at least for me.
Somehow, between paying bank interests and daily expenses, we manage.
We have incomes but expenses are slightly bigger, still, we manage.
We're happy, but we worry deep down.

But it's good in a way.
I learn that some people are not stingy, they just need to save.
Hey..... Restaurants are okay, but Expensive Restaurants ?, we'd feel guilty if we did go there, it'll only add to our credit cards debt.
Overseas vacations ? what vacation ?
But we stick together, we're good, we have what we need.

then recently,
one of the banks threatened to auction one of our properties. If that bank did go on and auction that property, the price's is probably only third of the normal price.
So we panicked.
Deadlines are approaching, it was kinda chaotic.
We needed to get a loan, fast.
We needed to sell that property before the bank auctioned it, fast.
and Fast didn't happen fast.
panic panic panic
1 day something would seems promising, the next day it was nothing
1 day another thing is looking good, the next day it was canceled
it goes on and on and on and on
It's been a roller coaster ride these past few months

We prayed daily, we never prayed so much before.
We grew stronger as a family.
We learn that we need to be patient and trust Him.
We keep on trying our best to find a solution.

and After a few months, at the very last minute, at Christmas
It was a perfect timing that just happened suddenly.
we got a loan
we got an offer on the property
everything is looking up now, pretty soon, we're debt free.

How did that happen to take place perfectly in time ?
We've been praying for months with no answers, but at the exact last minute, help came.
Isn't it amazing ? I say it's a miracle. our Christmas miracle. :)

So what do we learn ?
- We learn to be patient for God to answer our prayers.
- We learn that prayer is power
- We learn that there's always hope and to always have faith in God.
- We learn to trust Him, even when we still worry and have doubts, we have to choose to trust Him.
In our situation, it was a rollercoaster ride, so when we had a "green light" from the bank, a positive sign, we worried still, we doubted the chances, we had "what if's" questions. We shouldn't have worried, we should've stayed calm and have faith in God, because we are in God's hands.
- We learn that God's timing is perfect,
Perfect because, If we weren't "threatened" by the bank that they were gonna auction our property, we wouldn't rush things and take immediate necessary actions. It may seem like a "punishment" in the beginning. "Why now?" "This is gonna end bad" etc, We initially got all panicky and scared, but we got closer to God, because we learn to do our best and ask for His help because He is the only one that can perform miracles, at exactly the last minute, our prayers was answered. Perfect !
- We learn that miracles do happen

btw, when I was a kid, My mum and I was once stranded in an airport with no money to buy airline tickets, a total stranger offered to lend us money, she actually asked what was wrong and offered to lend money.
An Angel ? :)

Other than that ? What do we learn ?
- We learn to treat others with respect, no matter what.
My parents always taught me to treat other people with respect and never to make enemies, They were right, we may need their help in times of trouble.
(Although in this case, those people didn't actually help us, but it's a good point)
- We learn that even someone unexpected (such as the janitor or a food vendor) can be or link you to a potential helper
- We learn to stay humble.
People can be rude when they're ON TOP and they'd feel superior when we need their help and they'd treat us like dirt. We hope that we would never turn into them, ever.
- We learn to always help others when they need our help, just as how relieved we feel when others are willing to help us.
- We learn to never get bank loans ever again, lol

So there's my story.
If you're still in debt or you're still having any problem whatsoever.
Don't lose hope, Keep praying, Keep doing your best and believe that what ever the outcome is, God will give you the best solution according to Him and His perfect timing.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year !!
God Bless :)

Whatever you ask for in prayer with faith, you will receive. - Mat 21:22
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding - Proverbs 3:5-6
God's timing is perfect , never early, never late, and His plans are what's best for you