Is Facebook making you depressed ?

Do you find looking at photos of your friends at facebook is depressing ?
especially when you have nothing to brag about ?
Yes they're your dear friends and you are happy for them, but looking at smiling pics of friends and their wives/husbands and kids abroad, in front of their big houses, etc and you look at yourself and you feel so left behind, so far behind.
You feel like a failure, the more you look at people's photos, the more you get depressed.

First, know this :
- Their lives are not yours
- What makes them happy might not make you happy
- What you think might make you happy, might not make you happy.
So why get depressed ?
Live in the now, be happy in the now, Keep trying to achieve your dreams. Be thankful, Cherish your Life and Don't care what you think others might think of you. They're too busy thinking what others might think of them.
Work on what you've got.... Keep at it.

Take myself for instance
Some people would think I'm a failure
yes I was.... see that... past tense.

I have a very easy life so I was wasting time all the time and not pursue my dreams because I think there's always tomorrow, but I'm awake now, I'm ready to live my life, I don't always succeed everyday, but I try to. I don't wanna throw my life away and live a useless life, I want to be someone, I want to live a meaningful Life.

I'm on the way to success now, even though you might still see me as a failure right now.
I'm going 30, I don't have a job and still single and I live with my parents.
There.... that's the perfect formula for destruction.
But I see it differently.

Different How ?

Here's How :
I search for my own happiness.
We are dictated of what a perfect life should be.
Married with kids, rich, big house, lots of cars, all smiles.
that's what we think is a perfect life.
Turns out, the Perfect Life differs for you and me.
It's different for everyone.

So....I'm 30 and single and live with my parents and I don't have a job.
Let's decipher that :

I live with my parents means I still spend a lot of times with my parents. I laugh with them, I argue with them, I eat with them, I see them everyday and I'm grateful for that.
I've lived in Australia, Milan, Paris alone, so the time that I now spend with parents, I cherish.
How many of the rich and successful end up regretfully saying "I wish I had spent more time with my parents" ?
Yes, You still live with your parents, so what ?
You don't need all that TV and movies and magazine to tell you that living with your parents is wrong.
It's wrong if you still need them to accompany you to work,
It's wrong if you still hold on to their shirt and won't let go.
It's wrong if you can't live far away from them because you need mom to make up your bed and do your laundry.
But if you're still living with your parents by choice because your parents are old and u need to take care of them or you're just beginning to start over, then Having the chance to still live with your parents is not something to be embarrassed about.
Culture also plays a role here, If you live in Asia or even in Italy, then it's totally ok for a grown-up to still live with his/her parents, but if you're living in North America, well...it's considered "unacceptable" by most.
But wherever you live or whatever your reasons are,
Make the most of your time living with your parents, make them happy, make them proud. Yes they will still piss you off and you will piss them off but there are definitely unbelievably good moments in between and that's priceless. You're still given the gift of time with your parents, how wonderful is that ? Cherish it.

I'm 30 and single means I still get to look for that "perfect-for-me" someone, and I don't have to take the kids to school and get worried sick whenever they fall ill.
I haven't found the one yet, so what ?
I'm still looking and that's fine.
There are of course the perfect married couple that are truly happy where they are right now and you just can't help but want that too.
But How many stories of married couples have you heard about silly little arguments that turn out into big fights ? or how selfish she/he is ?
I've heard stories from friends who told me that they regretted getting married to this guy/girl,
I've heard them say "You're so lucky you're still single"
"I wish I was still single"
"Don't get married just yet, enjoy your life"
"I'm bored of taking care of my family all the time"
I'm just glad I don't have to deal with those right now.
Of course I get lonely, of course I want someone in my life and have a perfect family of my own, I've even said to myself "I wish I was happily married" but it's just not here yet.
There's no point of being depressed over that, get out there and keep looking. Don't feel embarrassed and feel left out that you're still single, be Happy and be thankful in Life.
Nobody knows what others really feel, they may look perfectly happy but they're crying inside. What important is what you feel, if you're still single and you're totally fine with it, Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. It's your life, and your own perfect life is different from others.
If you want that special someone in your life, then look for him/her, but don't stress over it. Who cares if others judge you. Don't let others' judgments control you and how you feel. You should be able to enjoy the life you live.

I don't have a job means I have the time to make my dream job come true. I kept on wasting time before, but I'm changing, I'm starting to make my dream job and my dream life come true.
At this moment, I'm lucky to be able to work part time for my parents, and the free time I've got, I use to pursue my dream, it doesn't seem promising at the moment, but it is in progress and I'm doing my best and trusting it in His hands :)
So can you..... even if you already have a full time job, you can still pursue your dream job whenever you have a free time. But you need to start right now, not tomorrow.
How many people said "Boy I wish I had time to write more" but whenever he got some free time, he'd watch TV or websurf reading other people's success stories and be more depressed and wish for more free time to write.
Sound familiar ?
Use your time effectively, use it well.
What do you want to do ? What do you want to be ?
a writer ? an artist ? a singer ? a motivator ?
There are people who graduated from dentistry who become a marketing expert, or even start a small home catering business.
There are scientists who become artists and paints all day long in Europe. They realized what they truly want and made a career change and found Life !! Exciting, Amazing Life.
and it doesn't happen overnight, it took time, consistency, patience and hard work.

So what if I'm 30, single, still living with my parents and don't have a job. I'm being honest to you here, and I am starting my Life over, I'm making a lot of changes to my own life right now and I'm working to achieve my dream life.
and If you still think I'm a failure, then that's fine, it's your perception, and you're free to think anything you want.

Take a poor farmer for instance,
Who's to say that a poor farmer is not happy ?
I'm not saying all poor farmers are happy nor unhappy, but it's how we see things.
A farmer might not have much, but he's sincerely happy, he's able to laugh out loud often, sleeps well at night, have nothing to worry/stress about, he has enough in life, he can feed his family, he enjoys working in his field surrounded by nature's beauty all his life.
Why do we feel sorry for his super modest lifestyle ?
Why do we feel sorry for him being poor ?
He feels sorry for our tightly clenched jaws that don't laugh out loud often, He feels sorry for us stressing about work all the time, He feels sorry for us for always being in a hurry, He feels sorry for us for breathing polluted city air everyday. He feels sorry for us for not living and enjoying Life.

Another good illustration from an ad :
If you were a mom, Which do you choose ?
Proud of your son's rich and successful life but lonely
or Proud of your son's modest life but happy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16PaWJvngBE

I have this friend on facebook who seems to have it all, and I envy her life sometimes.
She travels like 10 times a year, flying first class with her hubby & kid and shops a lot and "brag" about everything on facebook all the time. (yes with status updates and pics)
She seems to have it all, a healthy family, wealth, happiness, in short, the dream life, but there was this one time she updated her facebook status and she said "I don't know what to do with my life *sigh* It feels empty"
Wow right ?
The girl who I think has it all turn out to feel that way, the girl that I sometimes envy, can actually say something like that, it actually makes me feel sorry for her.
Maybe that's why she shops a lot, maybe that's why she "brags" about everything on facebook, because she feels empty.

So Don't feel jealous and get depressed by your friend's "happy photos" and their successes because you don't really know what they're really feeling inside.
and If they're really successful and happy, then be sincerely happy for them and aim to achieve better :)

Be happy with your current state no matter what.
Be happy with yourself regardless of what you think others think of you, you are just beginning, you're starting your Life, of course you are at point zero right now, the only way to go is up.
The secret is to Start your Life right now whatever your situation is, just Listen to your Heart, to the Voice within, then just start living your Life, start that determination, that hard work, start pursuing your dream.

The moment you want to change yourself is the moment you're on your way to success.
Never allow them to make you think of yourself as a failure, Always think yourself as a winner.
Now what you have to do is stay awake and start pursuing your dreams, yes there will be hard work, perseverance and patience, but they'll all be enjoyable because you're doing what you've always wanted. you're doing what you Love.
You're so close :)

How to start Living your Life Right Now ?

- Definitely Not by reading 300 Motivational books to prep you up and still feel not ready and search for other Motivational books, You're just stalling.
Let's start Now.

- Not by writing piles of things to do.
Sometimes you when you start writing your to-do list, you spend so much time on it and you keep on writing it, only to find yourself overwhelmed in the end and you postpone it for another day, and another day and another day.
Let's start Now.

- Not by day-dreaming all the time.
Dreaming is good, it makes you focus on your goal.
But day dreaming to the max without any action is just wasting time.
It's really wasting time and when you wake, you find yourself the same old you and you got scared and choose to go back to day dreaming instead of facing reality.

- Not by websurfing / blogging till 3 am and waking up really late the next day, everyday.
You need to have a discipline in Life.
You need a consistency in Life
You need to have a Healthy Daily Fun/Flexible Routine if you want to work hard to achive your dream. Why ? so you don't get burnt. You need to be in control of your Life, Know when is enough, know when is the time to Rest.

- You definitely have to Start Right Now.
Yes.... Right at this moment.
If it's 11 pm, then try to Rest and go to Sleep, so you can wake up fresh tomorrow.
If it's 8 pm, yes you can still start now, Start thinking strategically of what you can do and what you want to do.
Don't wait till tomorrow, Don't wait till the TV show go into commercial, Don't wait 5 minutes after you've done playing Mafia Wars on Facebook.
Start Now if possible.
Yes now.
Start Now. Seriously, It's right now or you'll always be procrastinating for the rest of your life.
Let's try to Start Living your Life right now :)

Start small.... Don't get overwhelmed, Just start.
Start with yourself, You need discipline and consistency in order to success.

Example :
I've always wanted to help others, but I'm not a super outgoing person who's good at giving advice, but I know I want to help others.
So I design stuff and put it up on sale and all the profits will go to charity.
That's a start. I believe it will grow from there.
Who knows one day Oprah will see my design and invite me as a guest at her talkshow ?
Who knows my designs will hit a worldwide sale record.
Who knows ?
Who knows what will happen ?
None of that will happen if I'm too afraid and too lazy to start.
None of that will happen if I keep on procrastinating.

What if I've started and my designs don't sell ?
Then you keep designing and keep on being better at designing.
and Leave the rest to Him.
Do your best and stop thinking about what If's.
Miracles do happen in time, you'll see. :)

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6

Another example :
If a busy housewife had a dream last night and she wanted to make it a worldwide bestseller novel and made it into a movie.
You'd think she's just talking crazy, right ?
Impossible, right ?
It'd be impossible if Stephanie Meyer didn't get busy and started writing her novels.
It'd be impossible if she didn't find time to effectively write her novels.
But she got started as soon as she got the time to write, she kept on writing, she kept her responsibility as a mum, and finally when the novel's done, she kept on trying to publish her books.
And now, Twilight is a crazy blockbuster movie.
It's a hit worldwide..... and it started with a dream and a lot of hard work making it come true.
We often leave that part out, we need the Hard Work to make our dreams come true.
We need the passion, the discipline and the consistency to keep at it.
Sometimes it seems like we are too busy and we don't have enough time or the energy to pursue
our dreams, but you can always squeeze in time. Everything is possible.
So why don't you start Right now :)

" Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. "
Steve Jobs

So Start Now :)

------------------

*Update:
Although I find the story of making Twilight is an inspirational one (dream-housewife-hardwork-bestseller book-blockbuster movie) but the message of the book-movie is wrong.
A teenage girl wanting to give away her whole life to be a vampire because she thinks she's in love, I think the message is twisted and corrupt, there I said it.
That's a wrong message to send out to all teenage girls out there.
What ? give up your soul to be with a good looking "demon" ?
So yeah, the movie may be harmless if it's only watched as purely entertainment, but there are a lot of dedicated hysterical fans out there.
So, to them, Be careful ! Don't let the stupid message affect you, Think wisely !!

EarthQuake !!!............... Are you Ready ?

I'm lucky to never have had a big earthquake experience in my Life.
I've had minor ones where the the big crystal lamp in our house would sway a few times, but it always lasted only a short while to be alarmed.
and I've never experienced earthquake in public places, usually it happened when I'm at home.
A few weeks back, I was at a supermarket with my mum and she went "I think my head is spinning, but ..... Do you feel that ?"
I was like "huh....what ? r u ok mum ?" and it hit me, it was an earthquake, so I grabbed her arm and we walked outside really fast, not quite running though.
Luckily it was a small supermarket instead of the ones in the basement/top floor of a mall, So there was no frantic running down the fire escape out of the building.

When we walked outside to our car, and the ground was still shaking, it was more of a sway than a shake really. Then everyone else got outside on the parking lot, basically just standing still, not knowing what to do, it kept on swaying and kinda made me feel like I was on a boat really.
The earthquake lasted for a long 5 minutes, well... maybe not 5 minutes, actually I dunno exactly how long it lasted.... it felt like 5 minutes tho. ;p



And as we waited for the earthquake to stop, I thought to myself.
What if this is it ?
What if there's no more tomorrow ?
What if the everything started to fall over our heads, the buildings, the neon signs, the electricity poles, and then the ground started opening up. okay... too much holywood scene there.
But What if I die right there ?

Am I ready to die ?
Have I done enough in this world ?
Have I made a difference in this world ? If not for others, at least Have I done something good for myself and my family ?
Have I learnt anything in Life ?
Can I leave peacefully knowing that I've done good ?

The answer to all of that is No.
I haven't achieved anything in my Life
I haven't made my parents proud
I'm not ready to die. period.

At that moment, I wanted to change my Life, live a better life, I want to be a better person. I want to achieve something in my Life, I want to be able to help others. I want to be someone.
I want a second chance and I want to be ready when the time comes.
yea... it was all like a moment of enlightment, complete with Hollywood movie backsound.

Too bad it only lasted a mere 10 minutes.
After the earthquake stopped, we went home and I was back at my comfortable lazy way of Life.
Unbelievable isn't it ?
So, after all that, I kept Slacking around, wasting time and What ?
Do I Wait till another Earthquake to hit me and be scared to death (literary) and wanna "wake up" and start doing something meaningful with my Life all over again ?

I actually wanted to start living my Life (to the fullest) last September 2008 when my grandmother passed away.
She didn't even get a chance to go to high school, but she's such an open minded person.
Her one advice that she keeps on repeating over and over again was this :
"When you study, study real hard, if you do, you'll be a succesful person and you'll be able to do all the things that you love in your life."
It doesn't sound like one of those deep meaningful advice we read in novels, it was just a simple honest advice she kept on repeating to us, her grandchildren.
I know it always meant a lot to me but reading it just doesn't capture the real meaning..... This may explains it more.
What my grandmother meant was :
"when you study - study hard"
Make the most out of your valuable time, you are given the best opportunity possible (that me and your mom didn't have), Learn as much as you can with all your heart and make something out of it.
Make us proud but do it for yourself.
Yup... that's exactly what she meant :)

About me ?
I've done all my studies, I've graduated with honors, but somehow I'm not out there living my dreams, when I see myself, someone with all the privileges in the world, who got educated abroad, who have such an easy comfortable life, but I have achieved nothing in my life. Nada
Right after that day, I started organizing my life, my daily activities.
But it wasn't good enough. It was a start, yes, but it wasn't consistent.
There are days where I keep on slacking and keep on saying to myself, "I'll start tomorrow"

But.....
What if there's no next time ?
What if it'd be all too late tomorrow ?


Wake up Now !!!
We have responsibilities in this world, to ourselves, to others and to God.
Yes there are limits to what we can do, No-one can do everything.
But, Have we done enough ?

Do you sleep at night knowing that you've given your best for the day ?
Imagine when we were younger, going to sleep at night after we've done all our homeworks / assignments for tomorrow.
We feel free, light and satisfied and we're able to sleep soundly, with a smile.
We've done all we can during the day, we've made every minute count, we're ready to face tomorrow and hand in our homeworks. We are basically ready for tomorrow.
Feels good doesn't it ?
Instead we put off things until tomorrow and we burden ourselves with guilt, and we ignored the guilt by watching TV, wasting time, etc.
We know this in our heart and we know that He's watching and He's been trying to wake us up but we keep on ignoring Him.
We always find excuse to procrastinate and to postpone.
Something always comes up, Convenient isn't it ?

With each and everyday, we are given another opportunity to better ourselves, but we fail to do so because we are too busy !!
We're always busy watching TV, busy indulging on too much food and drinks, busy clubbing, busy shopping, busy chasing "dreams" that aren't real, when we're supposed to be busy doing something meaningful.
We think just because no one's looking, we can do whatever we want.
Let's put it this way, If your boss was watching you work, you'd work hard and do your best.
Why ? Because he's watching and you'll get fired if you slack.
But what we have is a silent watcher, He cares for us and Let's us do whatever we please, but we ignored Him, we think we can get away this one more time and start fresh later/tomorrow.
You know what ?
Later never comes
Tomorrow will be another tomorrow.
and after 8 years, you'll still be making empty promises to be a better person tomorrow, just like me.
You have to start now !
I want to start now.

Our responsibilities is not just to our families, to our kids, but also to our Maker.
Have we done the right things ?
Have we made Him proud ?
Hey... Have we even made ourselves proud ?
Are we just sleeping in life ?
For most of us, we are asleep in our daily life, we're sleep walking, not awake.
and for those of use who are already "Awake", we haven't started to live our Lives.
It's the same day in and day out.
we wake up, we eat, we work, we meet people, we eat, we go home, we eat, we sleep.
What is our purpose ?
Have we made everyday meaningful ?
Have we live to the fullest ?
Are we ready to go ?

Take this for an example
There was an incident at a courthouse around a year ago, yes this is a true story
This lawyer walked with 2 other colleagues after attending court.
As they were walking, part of concrete holding a structure just fell on his head.
It just fell right on his head.
The building wasn't even under renovation.
and it wasn't a mafia case where he got murdered by the mob.
The concrete fell on his head and he died instantly.
The 2 other colleagues didn't get hurt at all.
Imagine if that happened to you. If life were to be taken away from you just like that ?
Don't you wish you had at least done something meaningful in your life.
Don't you wish you had a second chance ?
Well now is your second chance, Each and everyday is your second chance.

Always make today count and do it forever because you never know when it's time.
Always be prepared, Always be ready.
then you'll have no worries, you'll have no burden whatsoever.
Just picture it in your head, Feels good doesn't it ?

So... are you ready to die ?
No ?
Then use today as another opportunity to prepare yourself.
Start now. Right now, not in 5 minutes, not tomorrow, Start Now.
Prepare yourself, so when you do die, you're ready, you'll go with a smile.
You won't fear anything and you won't leave any burden and any responsibilities behind.
You're ready.

I know I want to always be ready.
I want to start now making everyday count, I want to start living a meaningful life.
What about you ?