Friday, December 31, 2010

How to handle Anger and Annoying people

How to stay calm even though rude-annoying people are "harassing" you on a daily basis ?
How to be patient even though you know they're lazy and slow ?
How to make them understand that they're wrong when they think they're right ?
How to stay positive ?
How to stay Happy ?

I even get angry when people move my stuff....
I get angry when people drive slowly in front of me, angry annoyed....
I get annoyed at rude snobbish people, etc etc
so I suppose my problem is a lil bit bigger than yours.
I don't know where to get a spot on advice
People don't seem to be bothered as much as I do by all the small things
I pray to God, o yes I do, to give me patience and tolerance and positive energy.
Do I get them ? Oh No....
not yet at least.

So, I was watching "Evan Almighty" the other day,
yea yea... it's not a new blockbuster movie, but it was on TV, so I watched it
and Morgan Freeman as God, apparently gave a really good advice.
Here's the clip :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkQnQFeW53I&feature=related

and transcript :
God : Let me ask you something...
If some one prays for patience, you think god gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient?
If he prayed for courage, does god gives them courage? Or does he give them opportunities to be courageous?
If some one prayed for the family to be closer, you think god zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings? Or does he give them opportunities to love each other?


So.....
I can't stand some people at times, even in my own home, they're there to annoy me 24/7.
Most morning, I'd wake up happy, then I get super annoyed in the kitchen coz the housekeeper overcooked the vegetables, again.
Or
How a certain someone loves watching cheesy soap opera on TV with maximum volume
etc
This little things bother me, Why ?
Food - I know I'm eating non nutritious overcooked food,
TV - I know cheesy soap opera are plain useless, and it's on sooo loud....
I can't tolerate these things and it's making me so annoyed and angry.
yes little things like toothpaste cap left in a puddle of water on the sink. yuck

But as I pray for patience and tolerance and happiness, How would I know if I've attained patience, tolerance and happiness if I didn't get to "test" them out on those annoying circumstances ?
for example :
If I drive out, sky's blue, road's clear, no traffic, everything's perfect, How does that say to me that I'm a patient person ?
How would I know if I've become patient if I don't get stuck in traffic for 3 hours ?
I can only know that I've become patient if I got stuck in traffic for 3 hours with no water and no toilet, yet somehow I don't curse, I don't get angry, but I'm just there, waiting patiently, calmly, or even better, making good use of my time (cook up ideas in my head, listen to audiobook, etc) and maybe.... pee discreetly to a bottle/a bucket when noone's looking ;p

How would you know you can control your anger if no one ever makes you angry ?
You're able to stay calm and collected when you're problem-free, but that changes the second someone annoys you.
You become easily irritated, impatient, offended, angry, you might even yell or hold it inside until your face turns red with rage. That's not healthy.
The question is : Can you stay calm, clear headed, kind, respectful, in control of yourself, when you're angry ?
No ?
Try !
Be in control !
So what if you fail the first time ? the third time ? the tenth time ?
Try and try again !
So you fail the first few tests. Guess what ? Here's another one to make up for it. Can you pass the test this time ?
in Life there will always be problems, always, you can't escape that and you can't hide forever either.
Life's just gonna throw random uncomfortable situations at you until you've finally managed to choose to be patient and actually be patient.
There will come a day when you'll become patient, effortlessly and you'll see that you've become a happier person, so grateful for all the blessings in your life.

For me, I'm still trying, but at least I'm starting
You should start too.... now :)

So that's the secret, that's the advice.
It's a process and it might not be the easiest thing, but you'll definitely get there when you choose to be and when you want to.
Be awake, Be Aware, and you'll find these little things won't bother you anymore and then you'll find pure happiness. It's that simple.

Sometimes I wonder why my late grandma was never an angry grumpy person,
She never hold a grudge against others that were rude/disrespectful to her.
She was an active helpful person, never lazy, never a complainer.
She's always patient and full of smiles. I guess she knew the secret all along.
Miss you Popo :)

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