Debts, Financial crisis, and Prayers

yup... when you have a Financial Crisis which leads to piles of Debts after Debts, Happiness seems to go right out the door.
Yes you have the rare occasional fun-filled outing with friends, Laughter with your kids, Going out to a Great Movie / dinner, Minor Shopping with credit card installments, etc etc, but deep down inside, You worry, You fear, You're not happy, almost all the time.

First,
it's good that you're able to get out and find moments of happiness.... don't shut everyone out altogether, get out every once in a while, Have fun, you need it.

Second,
Keep your mind focused and clear and Start doing what you can, Do it now, Keep trying, Do your best.
Ask for help from friends and families if you must.
and Pray !
When you pray, Have Faith in God, Be Patient.

Here's my story :

Debts... yup
It's been 7 years now
Imagine living in debts for 7 years.
It's like being frozen in time for 7 years, at least for me.
Somehow, between paying bank interests and daily expenses, we manage.
We have incomes but expenses are slightly bigger, still, we manage.
We're happy, but we worry deep down.

But it's good in a way.
I learn that some people are not stingy, they just need to save.
Hey..... Restaurants are okay, but Expensive Restaurants ?, we'd feel guilty if we did go there, it'll only add to our credit cards debt.
Overseas vacations ? what vacation ?
But we stick together, we're good, we have what we need.

then recently,
one of the banks threatened to auction one of our properties. If that bank did go on and auction that property, the price's is probably only third of the normal price.
So we panicked.
Deadlines are approaching, it was kinda chaotic.
We needed to get a loan, fast.
We needed to sell that property before the bank auctioned it, fast.
and Fast didn't happen fast.
panic panic panic
1 day something would seems promising, the next day it was nothing
1 day another thing is looking good, the next day it was canceled
it goes on and on and on and on
It's been a roller coaster ride these past few months

We prayed daily, we never prayed so much before.
We grew stronger as a family.
We learn that we need to be patient and trust Him.
We keep on trying our best to find a solution.

and After a few months, at the very last minute, at Christmas
It was a perfect timing that just happened suddenly.
we got a loan
we got an offer on the property
everything is looking up now, pretty soon, we're debt free.

How did that happen to take place perfectly in time ?
We've been praying for months with no answers, but at the exact last minute, help came.
Isn't it amazing ? I say it's a miracle. our Christmas miracle. :)

So what do we learn ?
- We learn to be patient for God to answer our prayers.
- We learn that prayer is power
- We learn that there's always hope and to always have faith in God.
- We learn to trust Him, even when we still worry and have doubts, we have to choose to trust Him.
In our situation, it was a rollercoaster ride, so when we had a "green light" from the bank, a positive sign, we worried still, we doubted the chances, we had "what if's" questions. We shouldn't have worried, we should've stayed calm and have faith in God, because we are in God's hands.
- We learn that God's timing is perfect,
Perfect because, If we weren't "threatened" by the bank that they were gonna auction our property, we wouldn't rush things and take immediate necessary actions. It may seem like a "punishment" in the beginning. "Why now?" "This is gonna end bad" etc, We initially got all panicky and scared, but we got closer to God, because we learn to do our best and ask for His help because He is the only one that can perform miracles, at exactly the last minute, our prayers was answered. Perfect !
- We learn that miracles do happen

btw, when I was a kid, My mum and I was once stranded in an airport with no money to buy airline tickets, a total stranger offered to lend us money, she actually asked what was wrong and offered to lend money.
An Angel ? :)

Other than that ? What do we learn ?
- We learn to treat others with respect, no matter what.
My parents always taught me to treat other people with respect and never to make enemies, They were right, we may need their help in times of trouble.
(Although in this case, those people didn't actually help us, but it's a good point)
- We learn that even someone unexpected (such as the janitor or a food vendor) can be or link you to a potential helper
- We learn to stay humble.
People can be rude when they're ON TOP and they'd feel superior when we need their help and they'd treat us like dirt. We hope that we would never turn into them, ever.
- We learn to always help others when they need our help, just as how relieved we feel when others are willing to help us.
- We learn to never get bank loans ever again, lol

So there's my story.
If you're still in debt or you're still having any problem whatsoever.
Don't lose hope, Keep praying, Keep doing your best and believe that what ever the outcome is, God will give you the best solution according to Him and His perfect timing.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year !!
God Bless :)

Whatever you ask for in prayer with faith, you will receive. - Mat 21:22
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding - Proverbs 3:5-6
God's timing is perfect , never early, never late, and His plans are what's best for you

Instant Happiness

So you're feeling down and nothing can cheer you up
or you're having a major problem and you can't seem to find a solution, so it's bringing you down, day after day.
How do you get back to being happy ?
You think "yea I'll be happy, when this problem's over"
"yea I'll be happy, but right now, I'm miserable"
No....you actually BE Happy Right Now.
It doesn't matter what problems you're in.

If someone can instantly annoy you and bring you down to the valley of sulkiness with just one insult.
then you can also SNAP back to happiness right that instant.
YOU CAN !!

How ?

Okay... Hear me out....
I was really tired from work, feeling really exhausted physically n mentally, plus it was hot and humid and the toilet was really dirty.
Anyway.... So I just sat there, staring at the TV, killing time, waiting to go home.
I didn't even watch the TV, it was like I was just sitting there silently, quietly, alone.
And my mind drifted away.... about everything that's good in my life, as simple as a stranger helping me pick up my luggage from the conveyer belt at the airport, about what I have, about my blessings from God, about my family, about miracles in my life, about good times and laughter with family and friends, etc etc.... It just flowed.
and Suddenly I felt so grateful, so blessed, so happy, so content, so calm, so at peace.
Just like that. Instantly.
It was amazing, I didn't even know where it came from.
I felt really really good, like a cloud of happiness just embraced me and I felt really grateful and blessed. It was very peaceful.
So there.... true story... my own experience.

1. If one insult or whatever, can bring you down instantly
then one praise, one prayer, one Will to be happy, can make you happy, instantly !!
Yes it can !!
Let go of the Negativity and anger. You just have to let the positivity overcome you instead.

2. When you will it, or when you're just there, being in the moment, realizing life, or counting your blessings and thanking God. Then you'll see that Happiness, Gratitude, Peace surrounds you and you'll feel incredibly good.

Try it....
don't Force it,
just Be there.... and you'll see :)

How to handle Anger and Annoying people

How to stay calm even though rude-annoying people are "harassing" you on a daily basis ?
How to be patient even though you know they're lazy and slow ?
How to make them understand that they're wrong when they think they're right ?
How to stay positive ?
How to stay Happy ?

I even get angry when people move my stuff....
I get angry when people drive slowly in front of me, angry annoyed....
I get annoyed at rude snobbish people, etc etc
so I suppose my problem is a lil bit bigger than yours.
I don't know where to get a spot on advice
People don't seem to be bothered as much as I do by all the small things
I pray to God, o yes I do, to give me patience and tolerance and positive energy.
Do I get them ? Oh No....
not yet at least.

So, I was watching "Evan Almighty" the other day,
yea yea... it's not a new blockbuster movie, but it was on TV, so I watched it
and Morgan Freeman as God, apparently gave a really good advice.
Here's the clip :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RkQnQFeW53I&feature=related

and transcript :
God : Let me ask you something...
If some one prays for patience, you think god gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient?
If he prayed for courage, does god gives them courage? Or does he give them opportunities to be courageous?
If some one prayed for the family to be closer, you think god zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings? Or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

So.....
I can't stand some people at times, even in my own home, they're there to annoy me 24/7.
Most morning, I'd wake up happy, then I get super annoyed in the kitchen coz the housekeeper overcooked the vegetables, again.
Or
How a certain someone loves watching cheesy soap opera on TV with maximum volume
etc
This little things bother me, Why ?
Food - I know I'm eating non nutritious overcooked food,
TV - I know cheesy soap opera are plain useless, and it's on sooo loud....
I can't tolerate these things and it's making me so annoyed and angry.
yes little things like toothpaste cap left in a puddle of water on the sink. yuck

But as I pray for patience and tolerance and happiness, How would I know if I've attained patience, tolerance and happiness if I didn't get to "test" them out on those annoying circumstances ?
for example :
If I drive out, sky's blue, road's clear, no traffic, everything's perfect, How does that say to me that I'm a patient person ?
How would I know if I've become patient if I don't get stuck in traffic for 3 hours ?
I can only know that I've become patient if I got stuck in traffic for 3 hours with no water and no toilet, yet somehow I don't curse, I don't get angry, but I'm just there, waiting patiently, calmly, or even better, making good use of my time (cook up ideas in my head, listen to audiobook, etc) and maybe.... pee discreetly to a bottle/a bucket when noone's looking ;p

How would you know you can control your anger if no one ever makes you angry ?
You're able to stay calm and collected when you're problem-free, but that changes the second someone annoys you.
You become easily irritated, impatient, offended, angry, you might even yell or hold it inside until your face turns red with rage. That's not healthy.
The question is : Can you stay calm, clear headed, kind, respectful, in control of yourself, when you're angry ?
No ?
Try !
Be in control !
So what if you fail the first time ? the third time ? the tenth time ?
Try and try again !
So you fail the first few tests. Guess what ? Here's another one to make up for it. Can you pass the test this time ?
in Life there will always be problems, always, you can't escape that and you can't hide forever either.
Life's just gonna throw random uncomfortable situations at you until you've finally managed to choose to be patient and actually be patient.
There will come a day when you'll become patient, effortlessly and you'll see that you've become a happier person, so grateful for all the blessings in your life.

For me, I'm still trying, but at least I'm starting
You should start too.... now :)

So that's the secret, that's the advice.
It's a process and it might not be the easiest thing, but you'll definitely get there when you choose to be and when you want to.
Be awake, Be Aware, and you'll find these little things won't bother you anymore and then you'll find pure happiness. It's that simple.

Sometimes I wonder why my late grandma was never an angry grumpy person,
She never hold a grudge against others that were rude/disrespectful to her.
She was an active helpful person, never lazy, never a complainer.
She's always patient and full of smiles. I guess she knew the secret all along.
Miss you Popo :)

Motivational Speakers are ex-failures

You see......

Failure = Low self Esteem
Accomplishments = Confidence
(u have stay humble n modest, tho)

and Some Motivational Speakers are ex-failures
yup... that's why they know so much
because they've been there
they just know
and they've found a way to get back on their feet
we should all too :)

How ?
Hard Work, Effort, Determination, Faith, Patience
and By starting NOW :)

Find out How you work best

Finding out how you work best is crucial
It makes you more productive, more creative, more more more
and You're more comfortable during work.....
actually when you Love your work then it's not work anymore :)
and when you're more productive and creative, you get more work done, you wow yourself with the result, in the end.......................... YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF
You feel satisfied that you've done such a good job
You get that boost of confidence, still humble, but confident :)
You wow yourself
It's a win win

So........
How ?
Ask yourself this : "How do I work best ?"
- Do you work best alone or in a group ?
- Do you need a healthy competition so other people's talents can encourage you to do better, to be better ?
Maybe a role model to inspire and motivate you.
(I need healthy competition, maybe that's my ego talking ;p but other talented people makes me wanna be as good, or if possible, better)
- Do you work better in a quiet environment / noisy / doesn't matter ?
- Do you work best during the day or at night ?
(I find myself work better during the night, but I'm now trying to sleep right & fix my body rhythm, goal is : sleep early, wake up early --> tough to achieve but I'm trying )
- Do you need kind words or honest blunt & sometimes harsh critics to prove them wrong ?
or you may need both :)

Ask yourself more questions !
Know yourself !!
Know How and When and Where you are at best and what you need to support you to reach your dream goal.
Then when you find all that out, YOU START !
Surround yourself with what you know will push you forward and Start.
Just Start !!
Not on the beginning of the month, not next Monday, not tomorrow, NOW !!

and give yourself solutions if you know the culprit of your problem :
Lazy much ?
- If you're lazy, even though you like your job, but you're just lazy and easily distracted,
Fight it.
Even famous artists, designers, businessman, photographer, etc still get that lazy attack
Just Fight it !! Force yourself at first, and after 5 mins into it, you'll be so into it you wonder why you were lazy to start in the first place.

- Create a situation where you MUST do it
If you lack motivation / will power to fight Lazy, then Create a situation where you can't run/hide/postpone/stall.....
Promise a Deadline !!! That usually work like a charm.
Work for someone else, so either you do or get fired ;p
Declare you goal & deadline, so you'll face humiliation if you don't finish / succeed.
etc

- Have Patience
Don't rush things and Have Patience
Don't expect to work hard for 2 weeks and expect instant success with multimillion dollar deal
Just stay motivated, Have discipline and start by doing... Do do do do and do
Lazy will come back... Fight it
Losing Hope and Disappointment might appear, Don't let it shake you.
Just keep working hard and enjoy the process. Focus on your dreams !!
Know in your heart that if you do things right, if you keep at it, you will eventually get there.
and I do hope you get there :)

Do you feel like a failure and you can't get out of it ?

After a while, a long while, you forgot about your goals in life.
you forgot about the stuff you love doing / passionate about
you forgot what it feels like to have that spark of excitement
it used to sparked even just by thinking about it, now.... u forgot what it's like
you forgot what they feel like, to live life filled with hopes and dreams, accomplishments and confidence, to be good in something u love doing.

Instead you live a zombie life
You constantly feel like a failure.
you can't sleep at night,
you don't feel like waking up in the morning because there's nothing to look forward to,
wandering doing nothing during the day, waiting for the golden opportunity to be presented upon you out of thin air, or maybe winning the lottery ;p

The more you let it, the more it ruins your life, the more "lost" you get.
You just forgot what it was like.
You don't know what you want anymore, you are without purpose/mission.
Life becomes boring, you forgot when the last time you laughed so hard, out with good friends, feel good about yourself, like you've accomplished something good in life.

You choose to hide
You sink deeper
You avoid friends,
you're too lazy to do anything,
you're not sure what you want anymore, you kinda want it, but not really coz life seems "fine" right now..... "fine" you say ??
You're in denial

Really ask yourself what you want
because deep down, you know
It's haunting you, but you're afraid to go there
You're afraid you'll fail and embarrass yourself in front of everyone.
You're afraid you're not good enough, you feel you're not ready.
you say to yourself "Now is not the right time" as an excuse
your suppress the fear, the guilt.
So you postpone, you stall, you keep it for later

Days become Months become Years
5 years have passed, 7 years, 10 years have passed
Everyone else has moved on
Friends and Enemies have moved on
Younger siblings and cousins have moved on
They got jobs, good jobs, got promotions, got houses, got married, got kids, more kids.
and you're still standing in that same spot, stagnant
No Life, No Life

Don't you think it's time to change that ?
What's that ?
You started to think maybe you're not meant to shine.
WRONG
You feel it inside you, everyday, every minute.
You know you are meant to shine,
You know you're meant to do something more, something meaningful, something you're passionate about, something wonderful.
It's building inside you but you keep on suppressing it.
Cause of fear ? You're scared ? of what ?
of failure ? of hard work ? of discipline ? you fear that so you choose to live a lifeless life ?

Don't you want to be successful and happy ?
Don't you want to make your parents proud ?
Their life & dreams, not to mention money, spent on giving you the life they never had, but you're accomplished nothing.
So what if you have crappy parents or no parents..... So what ? Don't you wanna prove to the rest of the world that you CAN succeed ? That you have such will power and determination to make your dreams come true ?
Don't you wanna wake up excited everyday ?
How you can't wait for tomorrow because it's always gonna be better ?

So get your lazy ass off that chair.

Your dreams....You've dreamed them too often.
You've imagined winning awards and being interviewed by Oprah way too many times.
Time to get into action.

It's hard to start I know.
Lazy will linger in the beginning, or probably forever
What ? you're gonna let Lazy win ?
Fight it !!!

You'll feel lonely and start to think everyone's having fun and you have to....work ?
You'll keep telling yourself, "one more day of relaxing is ok"
But it's not !!!
Fight it !!!
Stay the course, Focus on your goal.

Know what you want and Go for it !
- Make a daily schedule, Set your priorities right.
- Make lists of things to do to occupy your time so you won't spend useless time watching gossip shows or crappy movies.
Don't spend too much time browsing other successful people's blogs & feeling down, wishing their lives was yours.
Focus on your Life !!
Know that it's never too late, never !
and There's always Hope, always !
Your journey starts now
It's your choice
Have Faith, Work Hard, Have Fun

Stick with your daily schedule
Say NO to friends and families who ask you out for daily casual shopping/lunch/dinner, etc
Focus !
Do a 9 to 5 thing if you're working from home.
Have Discipline
Schedule yourself a leisure time, but when you're working --> Work !!
Don't get distracted.
Work but Have Fun doing it.

You also need that list of useful things to do
Why ?
So you don't end yo doing useless stuff
So you always know what you're supposed to be doing !!
Don't end up wasting time because you think you don't have anything to do today.
There's always something to do.
Learn something, Use your brain.

So.... it's all up to you
Your choice
All you have to do is to Start, Right Now :)
Use your brief time on earth well
Good luck & Have Fun !

Why we buy motivational books and never read them

Yea...why is that ?
we want to be better, we buy books
"oh this one will help me be a better person"
"this one will help me be more motivated"
"this one bla bla, that one bla bla"

At first, we read em and we're all excited and ready to change
what's dat....change, you say ? mmm.....change, ey ?

next book u read, u're like....
"I know all this stuff already.... yea yea...."
next book u read, u're like.....
"boringgg......true, but boring"

next book u read will be fiction, science fiction, chicklits (what?), comic books, gossip tabloids
why ?
becoz it's easy.....they don't require you to change
u don't feel guilty if u don't change
especially w the gossip tabloids, u see other people mess up
so it's okay if u mess up a bit

Wait....
So you don't read motivational books coz u don't want to change ?
because it requires effort from your part ?
Let me get this straight, u keep buying motivational books, because u want to change, right ?
but when u're face with the situation of having have to change, u simply dun wanna ?
You want to, but you don't want to ?
Confusing huh ?
That's why u have a pile of good motivational books dusting away somewhere in your home.
You keep saying to yourself, "I'll read it when I have time" but you never seem to have time... Really ? you dun have time to read, but you have time to watch that soap opera / celebrity gossip channel ?
Do you really not have time, or are you really just finding excuses not to read em ?

but here's the thing
motivational books are there to remind yourself of what you already know
u know u gotta have discipline
u know u gotta love life
u know u gotta live life to the fullest
u know u gotta be happy...u gotta choose to be happy
etc etc
u know all that already.....but u just don't do them.
What ? Do you really think in order to be better, you need to read the latest-number-1-selling-book from a certain someone ? and until you do, you can....slack ?
Do you really think that book will give you all the answers to your questions ? the specific techniques to change your lazy habit ?
Yeah some books are that good, but you don't need to read em all, coz if you do, u'll end up reading every book in the universe and you won't start living your life.....u're just back at stalling.

Motivational - self help - inspirational books won't do you any good if you're not willing to change for the better.
and your not reading it is to avoid feeling guilty for not changing today, besides, you already know most of the stuff anyway.
you're just stalling, postponing, avoiding, whatever you may wanna call it, it's the same thing
so it's your choice,
u dun have to read all the books there is
No point of reading all the ways and techniques to be motivated, no point of reading how to be happy if you're not willing to forgive and let go
So it begins from within you, not from a book.
Books might inspire you, motivate you to a certain level, after that it's all up to you.
Do you want to change ? for the better?
It's your choice !!
Take action Now